Let's talk about (shit) baby...

Yes, seriously - I'm going to talk about it.

Everyone does it, whether you openly agree or quietly agree - shit happens.  Why do women seem to avoid it all together or act like they don't?

I am the type that doesn't in public, unless I absolutely have to use a public restroom.  I prefer the comfort of my own poop room/toilet closet/etc at my home.  Lately at work the need has come up for me to use Just A Drop (if you don't have it - please for the love of smells get some, or learn what a courtesy flush is).  I can't stand doing this at work.  You see, at my office there is a guy who has an office literally right outside the bathrooms.  If I sat there, yes I would have a pad out on my desk and monitor who walked in the bathroom doors and how long they were in there.  Yes, I would.  So since I know what I would do (only out of sheer boredom) I believe that this is what he is doing.  So I can't go to the bathroom in my office.  Instead, I have to get to the elevator and take it down to the tunnels and shit in the bathroom down there.  That way nobody knows it's me or knows what I'm up to - well people that know me. 

My brother-in-law swears that my sister-in-law never goes to the bathroom - in the almost 10 years he's been with her, he claims that he has not seen evidence that she goes to #2 or the missing time of her going #2.  I wish my husband could say the same... yes, I went there. 

Why do women do this?  I mean, guys have no problem letting the world know that they are going poop.  My husband will tell a crowded room no problem, "I have to take the world's largest shit!" and then as an encore he'll send you pictures before he flushes. (EW, I know - but in a sick sense it's quite comical the pictures I have gotten.  It's like he takes his finger and swirls it around until 'it' makes a smiley face before he snaps a shot). I digress.
I have even known a guy that would talk on his cellphone with coworkers, make business transactions - all while on the potty.  I couldn't even fathom doing that while on the phone.  I will admit to #1 while on the phone with my brother or my mother, and even my husband.  But NEVER #2.

Are you disgusted yet?

Why do women make such a big deal about this if it's normal and natural?  Did you know that you can even die if you don't crap regularly?  I mean, Elvis did. 

Do you have this problem?  What do you think?  Am I the only paranoid shitter?